The Way I Used to Be

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Still, I'd recommend this one because it effectively puts you into the immediacy of Eden's emotions--the pain, shame, and fear, as well as the feeling that you've been damaged beyond repair. And that you are unworthy, undeserving, and unlikely to ever be treated with respect and tenderness. The first three chapters (or so) of The Way I Used To Be hooked my unlike any YA novel I’ve read. To begin the novel at Eden’s rape scene was shattering — but also gripping, because I was waiting for her to tell someone what’d happened (after all, her mother came in soon after!). And did she? Of course not. There wouldn’t be a book if she had.

I feel as if the best way to describe this book is the unforgettable experience I had listening to the last 3 hours of the audiobook at 1:30 in the morning in the pitch dark while bawling my eyes out and completely unable to breathe. It was THAT amazing. It's pretty hard talking about this. Not only it's a hardhitting book, but I don't feel like I am making it justice with my review. This book is amazing. There may be times when you feel like slapping Eden, but in the end your heart just breaks for her. She is this teenager doing her best to survive a world that continues to try and breal her. The plan is to select and read a book every month, then discuss the work during the month’s last week (to give everyone time to read it!). I will post some questions/quotes to get things started, but I would love for this to grow into an open discussion with and between you all. Whenever possible I hope to have the author, or another prominent voice on the subject, join the conversation.The book is carved into four parts: freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior year. In these sections, Eden makes new friends and loses them, and complicates all of her relationships with her trauma. Because she never tells anyone what happened to her, people don't know why she's acting the way she does, and sometimes the effects are heartbreaking. I honestly had a tightness in my chest when I finished because I was so worried about the outcome, but it ended up being kind of bittersweet. That's why I think this is a book for older teens as opposed to younger ones: the heroine isn't as likable as heroines of other rape-focused books, like JUST LISTEN or SPEAK, and the morality isn't quite as clear-cut, nor is the ending quite as satisfying.

LASTLY KEVIN YOU MF I HATE YOU SO MUCH I WISH I WISH UGH I WANT TO TORTURE HIM TO DEATH. NOPE DEATH WOULD BE TOO EASY FOR HIM. I'LL JUST LEAVE HIM TO ROT TO DEATHIn the tradition of Speak, this extraordinary debut novel “is a poignant book that realistically looks at the lasting effects of trauma on love, relationships, and life” ( School Library Journal, starred review). I was supposed to get up, get dressed, and sit down to breakfast with my family. Then after breakfast, I would promptly go to my bedroom and finish any homework I hadn’t finished Friday night, sure to pay special attention to geometry. I would practice that new song we learned in band, call my best friend, Mara, maybe go to her house later, and do dozens of other stupid, meaningless tasks. Goodreads Librarians are volunteers who help ensure the accuracy of information about books and authors in the Goodreads' catalog. The Goodreads Libra Goodreads Librarians are volunteers who help ensure the accuracy of information about books and authors in the Goodreads' catalog. The Goodreads Librarians Group is the official group for requesting additions or updates to the catalog, including: This such a beautiful, heart wrenching story i think everyone should read it once in their lifetime. It’s so sad and real, I can’t describe how much i love and i hate it at the same time. When Eden was just fourteen, she was raped by her older brother's friend. He sneaked into her bed and told her he'd kill her if she told. After that, she's never quite the same. She can't tell anyone what happened, so she ends up internalizing it and trying to grab control wherever she can. She quits band, she starts acting like a control freak in her book club, and she starts changing her appearance. Then she starts hooking up with guys, becoming quite promiscuous. Almost like she's trying to play out what happened, but with full control.

eden was so so so well written and being in her head was such a surreal experience. i really loved how amber smith displayed eden's different coping mechanisms. a lot of the mental health books ive read focus on self harm - which is obviously such an important and relevant topic, but i think that media forgets to portray the other ways that rape survivors cope, this is what amber excelled at. eden struggled with drinking, drugs, sex, and overall being kinda mean. of course there were times that i was frustrated with her, but i never forgot that this was her way of dealing with everything and i was in no position to judge. I wish we got more to that ending. Everything happened then the book simply ended. We didn't really get to see what happened after. How Eden heals and starts opening up to more people. We don't really get to see any reconciliation between Eden and her parents or Eden and her friends. I just wish we got to see what the ending has brought and how it shaped the main character's life anew.Seriously, what are you staring at?” he mumbles with his mouth full of pancake, in that familiar brotherly, you’re-the-stupidest-person-on-the-face-of-the-earth tone he had perfected over the years. This is such a lovely novel, full of real, raw emotions that will make you cry, feel sorry for the characters, and feel for them. As part of my work with UN Women, I have started reading as many books and essays about equality as I can get my hands on. There is so much amazing stuff out there! Funny, inspiring, sad, thought-provoking, empowering! I’ve been discovering so much that, at times, I’ve felt like my head was about to explode… I decided to start a Feminist book club, as I want to share what I’m learning and hear your thoughts too. WRONG. All stories of survival, whether individual or group, are valid. But at the end of the day, Eden is a fictional character. Narratives like hers shape how real people think of and treat rape survivors and make people think “Oh, they must not really be a rape victim because _______” if they don’t act like Eden or countless other other fictional characters who survived rape. They reinforce misconceptions instead of bringing attention to the fact survivors react in more than just a handful of ways. The Way I Used to Be is a story about trauma and life after it. Eden is raped by her brother's long time best friend after he sneaks into her bedroom one night. Please be warned the description of the rape is extremely graphic and unsettling, but it made the story that much powerful and moving for the author to force reader's inside Eden's head during every single second of the few minutes that would change her life forever. I thought the rape would be the most devastating part of the story, yet I was GUTTED when Eden's mom walks in the next morning and finds Eden frantic and covered in blood but assumes it's because Eden got her period for the first time. I wanted to scream as Eden was unable to find her voice and tell her mom what happened because she was so terrified. However, this was only the beginning of what has easily become the most devastating story I've ever read.