You’re Overthinking It: Find Lifelong Love By Being Your True Self

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Many people say that you have to love yourself first before you can love others, but really, if you learn to love others, you will learn to love yourself Brianna Wiest, The Mountain Is You Another popular quote from Brianna Wiest about what self-care truly entails. Real love and compassion aren’t about forgiving and forgetting your way through numerous transgressions, violations or betrayals. It’s about being able to let go of the person who would subject you to those in the first place. It’s about knowing you can practice compassion from a distance, knowing that holding someone accountable is one of the most loving things you can do for them. Highly manipulative people don’t respond to compassion. They respond to consequences. Shahida Arabi, Power In movies and romance novels, love is this grand, all-consuming force that takes you over in the most dramatic of ways. There are huge obstacles to overcome, but it’s okay because love conquers all! I mean, would any of us have cared for “The Notebook” if Ali and Noah were of the same social status, went on a few lukewarm dates, then got to know each other and developed a deepening connection over time? Don’t think so. Unhealthy Relationships Start With A Pull I don’t want to be right. I really want to be off about this, so I do something that always served me well in my love life, I lean on my remarkable capacity for self-deception. I wake up the next morning and treat it all like a nightmare. It never happened, everything is the same.

So change the mantra. When you catch yourself spiraling, just take a deep breath, put your hand on your heart and tell yourself: “I will be OK. I will get the love I want” And just sit with that. When you wait for the closure to come, you just keep yourself in a holding pattern. You don’t let yourself move forward. You convince yourself that you need this magical closure to open the gates that will allow you to enter the next phase of your life.I know how that song goes, I’ve sung it many times over. When you allow these beliefs you get wired in, you ruin yourself. And you blame him for ruining you but it wasn’t him. It was your reaction to what he did that was your undoing. Don’t run away from your feelings, they will always find you. Don’t shove them to the side or bury them under drugs and alcohol. Don’t self-destruct, because what sense does that make? The audiobook of The Mountain Is You is consistently one of the best selling audiobooks on Audible and Apple Books. The audio verion was narrated by Stacey Glemboski, a former English teacher that is now a voiceover artist. Stacey Glemboski presents Wiest’s guidance with a heartfelt, spirited voice. The audiobook leaves you with an abundant motivation to transform your life. While the audiobook is not free, Brianna Wiest has various free audio programs on YouTube and her podcast. Here are a few of those no cost options:

OK, so you catch yourself daydreaming and thinking about how much you like this other person… stop and ask yourself what qualities does he or she have that I think are so great? Either way you have to date smart. This will come more naturally with “meh” than it will with the object of your infatuation. Everyone has what they want to give and get from a relationship. Sometimes it isn’t a match — what you want to give is what he wants to get and vice versa — and sometimes it isn’t. He and I just weren’t compatible. We weren’t good together. It was always too hard, always full of issues, always so sad and dreary. It just wasn’t a match and that’s not such a big deal. 3. Don’t punish the next guy for the last one’s mistake You have to recognize when you’re turning a mortal into a diety and get it under control because no one exists on that level.Also, when you become obsessed with someone you barely know, your mind fills in the gaps and you end up creating this supreme being who may or may not exist. ● Now that we know what causes us to obsess, let’s discuss some tools for overcoming it. 1. Get to the root of it Healthy relationships, on the other hand, begin with mutual interest and attraction that grows over time. If you can internalize this, it will change the way you date forever. When you first meet someone, you want to spend every minute of every day with them. You talk for hours and hours on the phone, text all day, and you can’t get enough. The obvious reason this is problematic is because you may end up relying too heavily on the relationship for your happiness, but also, you don’t get a break from the emotional excitement and stimulation of it all. Then, if you realize this guy may not be right for you, you’ll be in too deep to get yourself out of the situation. You’ll instead rely on some cliche like “love conquers all” to justify staying with him. The Solution As women, we keep bumping up against the constant reminder that we’re not young enough, our face is not flawless, our body’s not perfect. And because of that, we aren’t wanted. I think we’re going to see some very interesting conversations about ageing, what it does to a woman’s self esteem, the psychology of ageing, our self-worth,” she said. “It could be brought up in many ways, whether it’s women talking to themselves, to the camera, or to each other about it.”