Naked at Home: An Older Woman/Younger Man Erotic Nudist Adventure (The Nude Living Series Book 1)

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For example, when I was growing up, skinniness was inniness, but today a full derriere is de rigueur.

This barefoot lavish spa retreat stretches across 50 eucalyptus-laden acres with scattered luxury private villas overlooking the sea.At the iconic Raes restaurant we devoured what we’d been skinny-dipping with earlier — yellowfin tuna crudo (spiced with finger lime), seared grouper (with bronze fennel), bay lobster glazed in chilli spiced sea urchin . Because what a nudist beach teaches you is that there’s only one vital quality for a backside — that you never, ever talk out of it. I opted for a crawl back up the beach like a jungle commando dodging enemy fire, my face a few inches from the sand. He’d clearly been inspired by those African tribeswomen who wear rings on their necks to aid elongation. When clad in swimwear, we women are constantly comparing ourselves to a Baywatch babe or Love Island contestant.

Then, just to be really kinky, I fantasised about other people putting their clothes back on as well. And splashing through the surf in the buff is an exhilarating blast of bliss that will stay with you for ever. The best thing about nudist beaches is that they do away with the usual “am-I-too-old-to-wear-a-bikini? On Main beach, you can take yoga and capoeira classes, try fire dancing or consult naturopaths, mediums and healers.I could imagine the tide taking one look at my naked body, going back out and then refusing to come in again. Which is why I soon found myself mingling with 50 or so other butt-naked strangers on the pristine white sands of Tyagarah (rhymes with Viagra) beach at Byron Bay. The main upside to getting older is learning to love the skin you’re in and the knowledge that it’s pointless worrying about your figure because body fads come in one era . Especially when pods of dolphins shoot the waves beside you, guaranteeing an endorphin or, rather, endolphin high.

And the male gaze is less laser-like on a nudist beach too, as men find their own anatomy coming under female scrutiny, for a change. The most important advice to remember on a nudist beach is to slather factor 50 sunscreen on everything; otherwise you’ll soon have a hotter arse than Kim Kardashian.

Forget whale watching; my binoculars were on the lookout for Chris Hemsworth, Hugh Jackman, Nicole Kidman et al. But each lazy afternoon we took the ten-minute ride on the solar train into town for exquisite fine dining. Most of the female nudists were flaunting elaborately bejewelled vajazzles (glittery pubes) or a regulation Brazilian, which resembles a landing strip for a mosquito. I eventually got the courage to lift my open book to an inch below my eyes, like a detective on a stakeout, for a closer scrutiny of the tattoo art on display.